I have to tell you: I totally love your comments. SO uplifting, every time! Thank you very much!
My parents divorced when she was 5 and I therefore 17. Dad wanted to share child custody, Mum did her utmost to get it for herself, including accusing him of being part of a sect. The Tiny One took that hard, of course. Mum apparently told her a lot of crap, then. Dad and me only got to see her two weekends and a few evenings per month. And I staid with Dad, where I very nearly fell into the trap to help him lead his life instead of leading my own. My grades dropped like a brick, my time was spent either helping in the household, driving my sister from mother to father and back, talking to my fathers lawyer or evaluators or hiding online. I lost track of myself, so I had to go. To move to cologne to live the life I wanted to. I still thought I'd be able to see her one weekend per month, then. When I told her that I'd be moving, she cried, helplessly, and it really broke my heart. Summer 2005 she came here and hid, until Mum relented and let her live with Dad, where she's going to school, now, too. Her grades climbed like... wow, and she's really happy now. Old enough to come to me, and since Dad and I never lied to her and always did our very best to reassure her of our love, her worth and even of Mums love, she's unbelievably stable and strong. I think leaving her was more of a trauma for me than for her. Especially because we talked about it, now and then, and she always smiled and told me that she feared losing me, then, but since that never happened, since she never lost me, it wasn't that bad, actually. :)
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2007-04-02 09:33 am (UTC)My parents divorced when she was 5 and I therefore 17. Dad wanted to share child custody, Mum did her utmost to get it for herself, including accusing him of being part of a sect.
The Tiny One took that hard, of course. Mum apparently told her a lot of crap, then. Dad and me only got to see her two weekends and a few evenings per month. And I staid with Dad, where I very nearly fell into the trap to help him lead his life instead of leading my own.
My grades dropped like a brick, my time was spent either helping in the household, driving my sister from mother to father and back, talking to my fathers lawyer or evaluators or hiding online. I lost track of myself, so I had to go. To move to cologne to live the life I wanted to. I still thought I'd be able to see her one weekend per month, then.
When I told her that I'd be moving, she cried, helplessly, and it really broke my heart.
Summer 2005 she came here and hid, until Mum relented and let her live with Dad, where she's going to school, now, too. Her grades climbed like... wow, and she's really happy now. Old enough to come to me, and since Dad and I never lied to her and always did our very best to reassure her of our love, her worth and even of Mums love, she's unbelievably stable and strong.
I think leaving her was more of a trauma for me than for her. Especially because we talked about it, now and then, and she always smiled and told me that she feared losing me, then, but since that never happened, since she never lost me, it wasn't that bad, actually. :)