fuchs | recent dreams

"My inner lion says hi"

I was a tourist guide rushing old people through the ancient part of my town, which was a mix of Cologne, London, Kiel and an open-air museum. There was even a make-believe blacksmith, but the fire wasn't hot enough and he just hammered away on a cold piece of metal.
I was terribly bored, I hated this job.
While all the pensioners looked around in awe in an old, big barn after I'd explained the woodwork of the roof, suddenly a large lion appeared in an open part of one wall (where usually the hay would have been brought in, were the barn still in use). He let loose an enourmous growl, and all the other people scattered away, screaming in panic.
I was frozen to the spot (don't run so the predator doesn't have the impulse to hunt you down).
The lion kind of... uncurled, jumped down into the barn, stood on his human-like legs (including jeans), swished his tail and laughed at me. A warm, dark, friendly laugh. "Damn girl, what you afraid of? I'm your partner, stupidhead!" he said. And I remembered, yes, we'd planned to get rid of the tourists like that. I think we hugged, me complaining how good he was at scaring, but then the pensioners came back, they brought hunters or policemen or the like.
Lion on the loose, get it, get it!
We ran away, of course, through the hatch of the barn, to the mole, running alongside the sea, hand in hand, he grinning madly, me laughing nervously. Then he jumped over a small wall, pulling me with him. A few meters down, then into the deep sea of the harbour. I was way surprised, and fast getting scared. I still wore my jeans jacket, and it grew heavy, pulling me under. I tried to swim to the surface, but everytime I stopped fighting I sank again.
The lion said: "What you doing, girl? Stop angsting around, there, and swim up, already.

Well.
A blacksmith usually stand for energy and creativity. If one just makes an effort, one will be able to seize chances. Nice image, oooold message, dear subconscious. And correlates nicely with trying to swim to the surface. I knew I just shouldn't despair, shouldn't stop swimming, then it would be quite easy.
I have no idea what tourists stand for. But I obviously showed them fake creativity. Thoughtless actionism. The blacksmith didn't do anything that made sense.
And the lion rescued me, actually *said* he was my partner. That in itself is a mesage to ponder a long time. Last time I dreamt of lions (wich was the first time, ever, by the way), I was totally humbled and very, very scared of them. They had godlike qualities. This lion was still so very strong, in body and mind, so beautyful and perfect. But he wore jeans and genuinely liked me.
And promptly dunked me into deep seawater, which is a symbol for the message: Get a grip girl, remember who you are.
Nice and easy to understand, and normally I wouldn't bother writing it down, but, damn... my lion is my partner.
It's like finding a new, old friend.

"My inner spy wears Armani"

Yesternight I was a spy, running through a city (Hamburg-Vienna-mix), trying to get to the government building in time. I had to be there before the council meeting began, to bring Relena this info I had, which would safe the world.
But I wore working-clothes and was a wanted man. So I had to dress up to get into the building on the first hand.
I skidded into the shop of my favourite dresser, an elegant woman indeed. Her shop had glass walls on three sides, and always just one single mannequin standing in the middle.
She gave me an Armani outift, from head to toe. Even my longish hair got a black Armani bow. Then she reminded me of our deal, and I grumpily gave in, looking at my wrist watch nervously.
I played the model in her shop for exactly five minutes.
This was a planned sales action on her side, she'd announced a special surprise at exactly this time. People surrounded the shop and stared through the windows, gasping and waving and generally just admiring. I wasn't just wanted, I was famous. They knew who I was, which blew my cover just wonderfully. But I didn't care. The mission was more important and wouldn't need a lot of time anymore, anyway.
Exactly five minutes later the glass walls disappeared and the masses ran in to buy and to possibly poke at me. But I jumped throught them, rushing to the government building. I had to control my frantic breathing at the doors, to avoid arousing suspicion. Then I was in.
Relena smiled as she saw me, raising an eyebrow aprreciatingly at my outfit.

I don't think that was supposed to tell me anything. Just a piece of good, clean fun.

"I saw you in hell last night"

We were in a boarding school, girls and boys in one room, which looked like the one in "The children of M.Mathieu", only nicer. There was a new kid introduced, a little girl named Lilly. Something was wrong about her. She crawled onto my bed (and for a second she looked like my beLOVEd little sister), and then I grabbed her and tried to wrestle her out of the room. She screamed at me, an unholy, unearthly sound, male, piercing, EVIL.
Someone screamed that she was possessed or maybe even a demon herself, and the demon laughed at me. The little girl dissolved into a smaller, dark grey form with fangs and goldish red eyes.
"You're going to hell", he said, and I recocgnized his name (Bartimäus) just a second too late. I shook him and demanded by the power of his name to know what we should do. He said: "You better behave and don't make him angry. And, you know, don't give him reason to keep you. Try to behave." Before I could ask how to get out of hell again or even how to avoid getting there, he disappeared.
Our light, white, cozy bedroom became a dark, greyblue box of old metal in the meantime. A friend of mine looked through the suddenly very dirty window in the door and whispered: "Oh God..."
A tall dark blue demon (he looked strangely like an evil version of Nightcrawler) in a monkey suit came in and announced in a british, snobby tone, that his majesty Lucifer would expect us to dinner, and if we would be so kind to dress up for the occasion.
On every bed there was a dinner outfit, complete with earrings resp. ties.
So we dressed up and were brought to the dinner hall, where table upon table full of damned, demons and humans like us sat and tried to behave. We had Bartimäus' voice still in our ears, telling us vaguely how to avoid being damned. Everyone got a single piece of toast, brought to us with the flourish of a ten course meal. Where to put your hands? Where to put the napkin? How to nibble without producing crumbs?
We didn't speak. Those who knew about table manners tried to show the others, but damn, we were scared.

eliathanis and me got up to go powder our noses. We got lost on the way to the toilet, and every turn we took, frantically trying to find our way back, brought us even deeper into hell.
There was a mall, selling any kind of insurances, wealth or health. We went trough there, graciously declining any kind of info material (they tried to get you to exit the mall with it so they could accuse you of theft).
This part of hell had no windows and low roofs, everything was strangely light and colourful, especially compared to our bedroom and the dinner hall (which had looked like an abandoned factory). We came into the furniture section. There were very cozy looking couches (model Sloth, don't sit on them!) and beds en masse. We met

malicedl and

shiverdl there. We weren't surprised to meet each other, it was an "Ah, there you guys are"-moment.
"Did he get you yet?" Malice asked. We shook our heads and I explained some behaviour tips we had gathered. They hadn't fallen for the info-material-trap, either, and we grinned at each other, dangerously. But Shiver didn't look quite right. You could kind of look through her in parts.
"What happened to you?" one of us asked worryingly.
Malice smiled sadly. "They ghostyfied her. We don't think she's dead, she's too powerful for that, but she's got a hard time speaking or moving things."
"Fuckers", I said. Shiver smiled at me reprovingly for that.
Made sense, though. You couldn't damn the epitome of politeness through impoliteness-traps.
We each went our ways, again, those two trying one, us trying the other way. A small stairway down there was an archway with the glittering pink inscription "Luxury". The tried to get us to become impolite or to do something forbidden or plainly bad there, too, but it was easy to withstand. On our way trough the stands, someone put a small, golden statue in my coat pocket, and soon I saw them snickering at me, waiting for me to walk out and be damned for stealing. So I searched through my pockets, found the statue and walked to the nearest booth.
"I found something, could you please hold onto it, in case the original owner comes back looking for it?" I smiled. (Refuse to feel guilty and they can't condemn you.)
There wasn't another way out than the archway we'd took to get in, so we went back, maybe to try to go after Shiver and Malice. We came to the furniture again, and there a big gorilla with horrible teeth said, smiling evilly, that he would rape me, and rape me good.
I shoved Elia under a table (she was safe there), and RAN. He followed, and where I had to jump over and around show room walls and insurance sellers tables, he just went through. I skidded around a corner and nearly collided with

kaneda, who was fleeing a monster (nearly gorrilla sized), made from sheets of paper. You could see how bad it could cut. I threw one look at the paper demon, she one at my horny gorilla, then we both jumped out of the way, letting those two collide. While they furiously teared at each other, we ran away again. As we saw a stairway that went *up*, which was the first of the kind we'd both seen, we changed a look again. She had been running way longer than me, and was terribly pale. So I told her to get Elia and try to find the others again and ran upstairs.
The door at the end led to a campus.
Greenery, sunshine, decorative water basins, modern university buildings (kind of like in Kopenhagen), and not. a. sound. It was warm and the air didn't move. I walked a bit, looking around (my steps didn't make a sound either), and then, suddenly,

al_pha was standing in front of me. I was *terribly* dismayed.
"No..." I tried to say. "Not you in hell..."
She wore a black evening gown with silver embroidery and matching jewellery. Her eyes and hair looked nearly black, too, her skin shone silvery. She was beautyful. And then she smiled, encouragingly. Instantly I knew that she was on her way out of hell, had found her way out, and she didn't seem to be afraid for me, either. She winked and I grinned back and then she held her hand to her head in the universal telephone gesture and mouthed:
"Call me."
I nodded and went back down.
The stairway led to long halls, this time, in which people where standing in line, waiting (forever). It looked like the inside of a space station from Star Wars. I rushed through those, but then I saw Stephan and Kolja standing in line. We hugged and chatted (smiling, crying, we would all be damned, wouldn't we, but at least surrounded by people we loved), and I told them how I got here. They seemed astonished that I wasn't able to find the dinner hall anymore (both wore very sexy suits), and decided to walk me there, one on each side.
As we got there, everything seemed as before, only some seats where empty, and there he was, standing around.
Lucifer.
With his long, inky black hair, his piercing light eyes and his wonderful smile.
"Took you long enough", he said, silently. I think I gaped, and then I felt like crying again.
"I know you", I said. "I used to dream about you a lot, years ago."
"Yeah... why did you stop?" He sounded so lonely.
"I don't know, I think I lost you." I wanted to hug him, but I didn't quite dare.
Around us, people still tried to nibble their toast without offending the Lord of Hell, and I knew, without a doubt, that I was dreaming of the Devil again, but dreams about him had never been just dreams. Dreams of hell were still real visits to hell, with all the implications and all the dangers. But I dream and know about that fact, and that gives me power. I would get out again, wake up in time, and all my friends would come out, too. Because I knew hell and it's rules, I knew about dreaming and it's rules, and, not to forget, the Devil is an old friend.

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