The most positive thing about my fights has always been that I could look back at them, afterwards.
I can look back and see a long list of fights fought and of goals reached and not.
I fought for this foundation and gained it. But this one fight, the one about love, friendship, home, is one you can't fight like any other.
If there's no victory in sight, it doesn't necesseraly mean that you didn't fight hard enough, didn't believe anough, weren't good enough. In this fight, chance and luck are your unreliable allies. I always thought fights with these allies easier to bear with, than those without them. At least it didn't have to mean 'my fault' when I didn't succeed.

I think you are, as always, a special case. You crave this kind of foundation, but normally people need years to gain it. Slowly separating from home-that-was, settling somewhere, meeting people, sorting trough them. I won this fight in the end of 2002, when I was 23. And that was very fast indeed! (It seems to be believed that the time of life between 20 and 30 is kind of reserved for this fight.) Incidently, I wouldn't have been able to fight for creativity, for strength of will and for finding my true self before then.
You are, and you fight all those fights, without a foundation. Yeah, I think I can imagine how terribly hard that must be.
And perhaps Lady Luck and Lord Chance aren't that fast. Need more time than you do. Perhaps even your special-ness can't rush this fight.
It's a sad thing, that giftedness and swiftness always seem to come with impatience. That's a cruel package indeed.