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A very random day
Apr. 5th, 2008 01:17 amEvery step I take to graduate this university makes me shiver, makes me feel nauseous. It's not all out panic. Yet. But I really can't think about what would happen if I made any mistakes right now. Or if the bureaucracy threw any stones in my way, which, let's all admit it, is less a question of "if" than one of "when".
And I threw my anchor miles and miles ahead, wrapped her up, stuffed her pockets with emotional sweets and threw her into the sun, where she does exceptionally well now. I have forgotten how it feels to be anchorless in daily life like this. I need to relearn to swim.
My fingernails sparkle and my mind wants to skip this and float away.
I edited fifteen pages of Traidis yesterday and the day before. It's quite hard work, battling the inner pighound and the inner perfectionist at the same time. It's all about balance, again. And I stuff my plans with social contacts, other ships to bump into to make the missing anchor easier to forget for a while.
Thank the Powers that May Be for Email and Skype, really. The world is a small place and tiny threads like these make a big difference: Maybe the chain is slack and very, very long. But it's not cut.
Someone said to me "I hate freedom. I'd rather not decide anything." Freedom is a scary, scary thing, just another word for nothing left to lose. We all need to ground ourselves on something, base our beliefs on something, hold onto something. I just wish I could erase some foul bases out of the thus polluted minds of friends. Oh, how I wish I were cruchad. :D
And I really wish our washing mashine had been on time. It's really exhausting to deal with so much unreasonableness.
Anyway, I grew mad a humankind in general (with the exception of something under a dozen individuals), went to sleep in the afternoon without setting an alarm, woke up completely refreshed and went on to float for a few hours. I did *something* with the rest of the day, though. And since there'd been a call for more daily life photographs, may I present: Midnight bakery cinnamon rolls.
My very first yeast dough. I treated it with love and care and wow, those smell and taste really nice!
I think I want to have new icons. *ponders this*
And since Elia asked me to show off the current state of our flat, have some major ( picspam after the cut! )
And I threw my anchor miles and miles ahead, wrapped her up, stuffed her pockets with emotional sweets and threw her into the sun, where she does exceptionally well now. I have forgotten how it feels to be anchorless in daily life like this. I need to relearn to swim.
My fingernails sparkle and my mind wants to skip this and float away.
I edited fifteen pages of Traidis yesterday and the day before. It's quite hard work, battling the inner pighound and the inner perfectionist at the same time. It's all about balance, again. And I stuff my plans with social contacts, other ships to bump into to make the missing anchor easier to forget for a while.
Thank the Powers that May Be for Email and Skype, really. The world is a small place and tiny threads like these make a big difference: Maybe the chain is slack and very, very long. But it's not cut.
Someone said to me "I hate freedom. I'd rather not decide anything." Freedom is a scary, scary thing, just another word for nothing left to lose. We all need to ground ourselves on something, base our beliefs on something, hold onto something. I just wish I could erase some foul bases out of the thus polluted minds of friends. Oh, how I wish I were cruchad. :D
And I really wish our washing mashine had been on time. It's really exhausting to deal with so much unreasonableness.
Anyway, I grew mad a humankind in general (with the exception of something under a dozen individuals), went to sleep in the afternoon without setting an alarm, woke up completely refreshed and went on to float for a few hours. I did *something* with the rest of the day, though. And since there'd been a call for more daily life photographs, may I present: Midnight bakery cinnamon rolls.
My very first yeast dough. I treated it with love and care and wow, those smell and taste really nice!
I think I want to have new icons. *ponders this*
And since Elia asked me to show off the current state of our flat, have some major ( picspam after the cut! )
